Giving up Secrets

I have not spoken in secret, in a dark place of the earth; I did not say to the seed of Jacob, “Seek me in  vain”; I, the Lord, speak righteousness, I declare things that are right.

Isiah 45:19

The secrets that separate us from friends and family make our relationships  essentially dishonest.  Bulimia is often totally hidden.  No one may suspect the gorging and purging; frequently parents or even husbands don’t have a clue.  But God knows every problem  even when we deny that anything is wrong.

When we are on the  recovery journey, the real test is trying to be honest with ourselves .  This means admitting mistakes to ourselves,  forgiving ourselves and asking for help.  It means giving up on expecting others to read our minds and know what we need.  No one should have to drag things out of  us anymore;  it is our responsibility to tell others  what is bothering us or what we think, feel, or want.

Like any addiction, bulimia creates a false identity.  Revealing the true us is scary but, if taken very slowly, results in the blessing of true intimacy.  This is exciting since we don’t have any big secret to hide anymore and we really want to be close to people.  Just being able to be ourselves, with nothing to hide, is a new freedom.

Prayer:  Father, help me to develop intimacy by being honest about what I really think and feel with those you show me I can trust.


A Model for Caregiving

October 30

Casting all your cares upon him,  for he cares for you.

I Peter 5:7

Jesus Christ is such a healthy example of a care giver.  When He deals with us, he comes alongside us.  In fact, he became  a human being and related to us as human beings.  We didn’t have to become more spiritual to reach him.   He became human to touch us.

When he was on earth, Jesus accepted his human limitations.  He chose twelve disciples to assist him in his work.  He took time to rest, to eat, to relate with friends, and to renew himself. He often would pull away to pray even when people were pressuring him to give more.  When he did give to others, it was out of fullness rather than emptiness-out of love, not duty.

Jesus respects our boundaries.  He never forces himself on us, and he never pressures us to see things his way.  He supports us and loves us even while he allows us to face the consequences of our choices.  Because Jesus is this kind of care giver, we feel enriched after being with him,  and our self respect is increased.

Not only is  Jesus an incredible model for each of us as we give care to others, he is a trustworthy Lord on whom we can cast our burdens.

MY PRAYER:  Jesus, today as I reach out to others in my life, help me to model my care giving after yours.

Freedom To Choose


Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorities, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

Josh. 24:15.Two young men had heard stories for years about the wise old hermit who lived up in the mountains. Rumor had it that he was very eccentric, but there wasn’t a question that the old man couldn’t answer. The young men decided to test the old man’s brilliance. They decided to catch a little bird and hold it with their hands. Then they would ask the hermit if the bird was dead or alive .If he said it was alive, they would crush it to death. If he said it was dead, they would leave it alive.

Pleased with themselves, the youths stomped up the mountain until they arrived at the hermit’s cabin. When the elderly man answered their knock, the bravest one said, “Sir, we have a little bird in our hand. Is it dead or alive?” The man looked right into their eyes and said, “Whether that bird is dead or alive is in your hands. The choice is yours.”

As women on the journey, we too have the choice in our hand. We can choose life through Christ or death by turning our back toward God and his provision for us.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for the freedom to choose whom I will serve.