I have not spoken in secret, in a dark place of the earth; I did not say to the seed of Jacob, “Seek me in vain”; I, the Lord, speak righteousness, I declare things that are right.
The secrets that separate us from friends and family make our relationships essentially dishonest. Bulimia is often totally hidden. No one may suspect the gorging and purging; frequently parents or even husbands don’t have a clue. But God knows every problem even when we deny that anything is wrong.
When we are on the recovery journey, the real test is trying to be honest with ourselves . This means admitting mistakes to ourselves, forgiving ourselves and asking for help. It means giving up on expecting others to read our minds and know what we need. No one should have to drag things out of us anymore; it is our responsibility to tell others what is bothering us or what we think, feel, or want.
Like any addiction, bulimia creates a false identity. Revealing the true us is scary but, if taken very slowly, results in the blessing of true intimacy. This is exciting since we don’t have any big secret to hide anymore and we really want to be close to people. Just being able to be ourselves, with nothing to hide, is a new freedom.
Prayer: Father, help me to develop intimacy by being honest about what I really think and feel with those you show me I can trust.