For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.
The failure rate for human beings is 100 percent. We all sin. We all make mistakes. We all fall flat on our faces. And we all have the potential for every imaginable evil.
This truth was illustrated graphically to me when my son was five years old. It was the day before Halloween, and he and his friend were sitting on the porch swing, their masks pulled up on top of their heads. They called to me, asking for some cookies, and I said no. They helped themselves anyway. I could hear the metal lid being put back on the cookie jar. So I followed them back out on the porch. As if on signal, the two little boys pulled their masks down over their eyes. Then, when they realized that I knew, they vehemently blamed each other. Young as they were, they were no strangers to guilt and deception-sin.
I, too, tend to hide behind masks and blame my guilt on others. I need to look long and hard at Calvary to see that I have the same potential for evil and deceit as the people who caused Christ to be crucified and the people who have abused me.
Thought: Remind me, Lord, that heaven is for those who know they sin and hell is for those who think they are pretty good.
I have not spoken in secret, in a dark place of the earth; I did not say to the seed of Jacob, “Seek me in vain”; I, the Lord, speak righteousness, I declare things that are right.
The secrets that separate us from friends and family make our relationships essentially dishonest. Bulimia is often totally hidden. No one may suspect the gorging and purging; frequently parents or even husbands don’t have a clue. But God knows every problem even when we deny that anything is wrong.
When we are on the recovery journey, the real test is trying to be honest with ourselves . This means admitting mistakes to ourselves, forgiving ourselves and asking for help. It means giving up on expecting others to read our minds and know what we need. No one should have to drag things out of us anymore; it is our responsibility to tell others what is bothering us or what we think, feel, or want.
Like any addiction, bulimia creates a false identity. Revealing the true us is scary but, if taken very slowly, results in the blessing of true intimacy. This is exciting since we don’t have any big secret to hide anymore and we really want to be close to people. Just being able to be ourselves, with nothing to hide, is a new freedom.
Prayer: Father, help me to develop intimacy by being honest about what I really think and feel with those you show me I can trust.