Stop contention before a quarrel starts.

Proverbs 17:14

“And the winner is…” That’s what Mike and Meg  wanted me to announce during their early therapy sessions.  They entered counseling on different sides and proceeded with one central question,”Who’s right?” My job was to convince Mike and Meg to join forces and fight together against their problems in life.

My first task was to help Mike and Meg recognize there was indeed a war going on. And the next stop was negotiation. When both partners began to recognize their own individual selfishness, the differences in the marriage could begin to be addressed from a stance of  “What’s in both of our best interest?”

When Mike and Meg began to realize that they both win when one wins and both lose when one loses, I knew they were on the right track. One step farther was to begin to teach each of them the concept of putting the interest and needs of the mate above their own interests  and needs. My therapeutic goal was to combine their forces and send Mike and Meg out as equipped allies headed toward victory in the war of life together.

Prayer:  Lord, help me see my loved ones as allies, not adversaries.